Cat Kerr, Author at Catholic Charities of Denver

St. Valentine’s Apartments in Loveland: A Light at the End of the Tunnel

February 13, 2024February 8, 2024 by Cat Kerr

St. Valentine’s Apartments, the latest housing project from Catholic Charities Housing, is providing a light at the end of the tunnel for individuals struggling with homelessness in Loveland, Colorado. The project, which began five years ago in partnership with the City of Loveland, began accepting residents in late December 2023, with full occupancy expected in mid-March.

The new and innovative supportive housing complex in the Sweetheart City, located at 915 E. 10th Street, provides housing for people who are exiting homelessness. The building has 48 one-bedroom and six two-bedroom units with a total 54 units. Importantly, St. Valentine is not just a housing complex; it’s a comprehensive solution to address the challenging issues faced by the homeless population.

Unique Vision

St. Valentine isn’t just an affordable housing project. It’s a supportive housing project, with the goal not to simply house residents, but to help lift them to their next chapter. The Catholic Charities Housing team has diligently worked to ensure that the project is heavily staffed, with five dedicated full-time service providers, including navigation managers, two case managers and a clinician who offers triage services for acute issues. In addition, the project is providing long-term support without imposing time limits on its residents.
“There is significant need for affordable housing of all kinds across Colorado,” said Justin Raddatz, Executive Director, Catholic Charities Housing. “But supportive housing – which provides the resident with stable long-term housing and supportive services in the same place –  is one of the most intense, challenging projects to develop and operate and serves the most vulnerable homeless residents in the community – exactly the type of mission we at Catholic Charities sign up for.”

Why Loveland?

For many years, Loveland was considered a “bedroom community,” with many residents traveling to Fort Collins, Greeley and even Denver for work. But with the explosion of development and an emphasis on growth in recent decades, Loveland’s population has doubled over the past 30 years, bringing with it complex challenges and problems that used to be faced only by larger cities. Thankfully, Loveland’s leadership recognized the challenges and proactively moved forward to address the issues of homelessness.
“I am profoundly grateful to Catholic Charities for stepping in and building the Saint Valentine Apartments,” said Loveland Mayor Jacki Marsh. “Housing and caring for those who have been chronically unhoused is a monumental endeavor. We human beings will see an animal, such as a dog or a cat, alone, abandoned, shivering in the cold and we will stop what we are doing and we will attempt to help the animal. Yet, we ignore, fear or even hate the human animal that is unhoused. Unlike the cat or the dog, we assign blame to the unhoused human. I suppose those thoughts and beliefs justify our looking the other way.”
The Mayor continues, “Or perhaps it’s merely a lack of knowing what to do? Or perhaps it’s knowing that taking in the unhoused, the suffering human being, will require more than we are willing to take on?  At the end of the day, healing the human being, may be possible, if we work together. If we step out of our comfort zone, reach across the divide that separates the house and the unhoused and if we extend a welcoming hand and say ‘I see you, you matter, come inside, rest, heal, let’s find a path, together.’ Thank you, Catholic Charities, for being the hand that extends the welcome, for providing the home, the safe haven for those who have lost their way. Thank you for restoring hope.”
Something for Everyone

The meticulous planning and execution of this housing project reflect the dedication of the team involved in bringing this vision to life. In addition, security is a top priority at St. Valentine’s Apartments, with staff ensuring 24/7 coverage to create a safe and secure living environment for all residents.

One distinctive feature of the complex is its center courtyard, where residents can soak up the sunshine, find comfort in shade and engage in community activities. Building on that sense of community and providing a place to build camaraderie, the courtyard hosts an outdoor concrete ping pong table and plenty of tables, chairs and benches.

Partnerships Abound

The success of St. Valentine’s Apartments is attributed not only to the dedication of Catholic Charities Housing with the collaborative efforts from the City of Loveland, ShopWorks Architecture and KCI. Homeward Alliance and SummitStone Behavioral Health are our primary service partners. Working closely with local authorities, the project has seamlessly integrated into the community, becoming a testament to what can be achieved when public and private entities join forces to address critical social issues.

As St. Valentine’s Apartments continues to welcome residents and provide a supportive haven, it stands as a shining example of how compassion, collaboration and community engagement can transform lives and create lasting positive change.

At 92, Marie is still on her daily mission to “make someone happy”

February 8, 2024 by Cat Kerr

At the age of 92, Marie Saavedra has spent the last 29 years working at the Samaritan House warehouse in downtown Denver, continuing her days offering her warm heart to those seeking it. Marie always believed that compassion was the key to a happy life.

“Every day, I wake up excited to go to work. And every night, I thank God for everyone I have encountered that day and pray that they know how much God loves them. He tells me, too, how much He loves me.”

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) only 4.4% of the workforce is 90 years old or older. If you were to shadow Marie on any given day, you would be floored to know she is a part of that 90 years or older percentage. Her heart for service and faith in humanity keeps her youthful.

Marie’s journey of service began at the young age of 16 years old when she entered the workforce, caring for babies at the baby annex at St. Joseph’s Hospital. She went on to give birth to six of her own children, a calling she’d been preparing for. Having a large family was always important to her. She takes pride in having most of her children in a close radius and beams at the five generations who call her mom, grandma, great-grandma and even great-great-grandma.

While raising her children, Marie also worked as a caregiver for seniors. Her gift of holding the hands of any single person, at any age, during any hardship never wavered. She shares a story of one woman she fondly cared for during her last years.

“I remember having a special bond with this woman, Grace. I’d sit with her, and she’d tell me all sorts of stories. She entrusted me with her wedding ring before she passed, knowing that I’d give it to her daughter. It was an honor I never took lightly. When I gave the ring to her daughter, she told me how much Grace loved me,” Marie said. She thought “If only I could make someone happy like that.”

Marie has added many stories of her own. After decades of caretaking, she joined a community center for older adults to spend the brief chapter of her retirement. She met someone at the center who connected her to the job at Samaritan House. It was part-time, close to her house and seemed like a Godsend. Her days of helping the vulnerable populations weren’t over.

In her everyday effort to “make someone happy”, she recalls an experience of a man who came to the warehouse, nervously seeking a suit to wear for an interview. As she had done hundreds of times before, she got him exactly what he needed and offered her advice. Two years later, that same man made the trip to the warehouse to share with Marie that he had gotten that job he interviewed for. He came to bring her a guardian angel pin, sharing with her that she had helped him get the job, with the confidence she instilled in him.

Of the many hundreds of stories she has to share, many triumphant, many challenging, she remains resilient. Her presence has kept the Samaritan House warehouse operation a staple in the Denver community.

“Marie’s faith is at the heart of everything she does…it comes out in her smile and her endless hours of service. She makes me smile every day she comes in to work,” said Mary Larsen, director of warehousing and kitchen operations.

For the past two years, the migrant population has come to rely on the Samaritan House warehouse as a lifeline. Some days, Marie and the warehouse team cater to 150 new individuals each day, giving them a sack lunch and clothing. There are days that are much harder than others, but the encouragement Marie shares with each person is always the same.

Her close colleagues feel blessed to spend their days with Marie. “She is an inspiration to all of us. I look up to Marie,” shared warehouse manager Dianne Montoya

During the days where she caters to hundreds of people, she shares that “if God keeps giving me the physical ability, I will keep doing it. I make sure to stretch every night and thank Him for the body I have to provide hope to people.”

As the years roll on, Marie continues to be an unstoppable force at Samaritan House. Her unwavering dedication and contagious enthusiasm have inspired thousands, a reminder that kindness has no age requirement.

“I thank God for the joy this life brings me and the strength He gives me to keep doing it.”

Catholic Charities Hires Key Leaders for Marisol Health Northern Colorado and Provides Updates on New Clinic’s Progress

January 25, 2024January 25, 2024 by Cat Kerr

Catholic Charities is excited to announce the hiring of exceptional individuals who will lead the operations at the new Marisol Health Northern Colorado clinic, set to open its doors in Spring 2024. Sharon Keck has been named clinic director, and Lisa Gesterling has joined as the certified nurse midwife. These additions to the team, along with Dr. Kevin Tool, demonstrate Marisol Health’s commitment to delivering quality services and support to women and families in Northern Colorado.

“We’re so excited and blessed to have Sharon, Lisa and Dr. Tool join us as we open our new Marisol Health clinic! They are accomplished leaders in the field of women’s health and will be strong partners in creating a caring and dynamic culture of excellence,” said VP of Women’s and Family Services at Catholic Charities of Denver.

Sharon has nearly 40 years of experience in nursing administration, practice and education in both major teaching and community hospitals in Colorado, Illinois, Ohio and Arizona. Most recently, as a labor, delivery and postpartum nurse at Longmont United Hospital, Sharon has extensively embraced patient and staff education, professional/shared governance, quality improvements and change management. With a Master of Science in Nursing from the Ohio State University and a long history of professional honors, Sharon is looking forward to bringing her dedication to women’s health issues and patient-focused care to Marisol Health Northern Colorado.

“My approach to healthcare revolves around patient-centered care, and I am committed to fostering an environment where women feel empowered, respected and supported in their health and pregnancy journey,” said Keck.

Lisa is a certified nurse midwife and women’s health nurse practitioner. She specializes in obstetric and gynecological care, natural family planning and well-woman exams. Most recently a certified nurse midwife and women’s health nurse practitioner at Bella Health and Wellness, Lisa has a Master of Science from Georgetown University School of Nursing and Health Studies. Her previous clinical experience underscores her dedication to providing holistic, dignified care. She is a published journal author, a member of Catholic Medical Association and she lives in Ft. Collins.

“The Marisol Health model – high-quality, patient-centered obstetric and gynecological care with integrated social services – is such an innovative, needed model of care in Northern Colorado. The community’s excitement for this practice has been tremendous. I am so honored to be a part of this team, and I can’t wait to serve the women of Northern Colorado,” shared Gesterling.

In addition, Dr. Kevin Tool, Obstetrician and Gynecologist and longtime Fort Collins resident, is serving as Marisol Health Northern Colorado’s Medical Director. As such, he will provide clinical guidance and consultation to the medical team and receive referrals of patients with higher risk medical conditions, including those who need surgical procedures. Dr. Tool will also review and sign off on all ultrasounds and share delivery responsibilities with Marisol Health nurse midwives.

The clinic has made significant progress, including the completion of construction and the acquisition of the building. Efforts are now focused on securing furniture and fixtures, setting up the Electronic Health Record system, addressing financial projections and contracting with vendors and suppliers. Additional team members are being hired and the onboarding plan is underway.

Catholic Charities is grateful for the support and interest from volunteers who are eager to contribute to Marisol Health Northern Colorado. Volunteer opportunities will be available soon. In the meantime, Catholic Charities encourages individuals to get involved with its other ministries in Larimer and Weld County, such as Samaritan House Fort Collins and Samaritan House Greeley on the Guadalupe Campus. These shelters are always eager to have dedicated volunteers. The generosity of time and treasure at Marisol Family St. Joseph is also greatly appreciated, as they provide diapers, materials and educational opportunities for young families in Northern Colorado.

Marisol Health Northern Colorado, opening in Spring 2024 at 1221 West Elizabeth St., Fort Collins, CO 80521, aims to be the most comprehensive support system for women in the region. It will provide accurate information and support to help women make important decisions about their reproductive health.

Las Posadas celebration with families at Samaritan House

December 21, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Last December, Samaritan House transformed conference rooms and common areas into places of shelter and safety for dozens of migrants who had just arrived in Denver. Since the influx fell around Christmastime, staff did their best to adapt to what the holidays may have felt like in their respective countries. To commemorate, they put together a Las Posadas celebration. Las Posadas is a cherished Christmas tradition in Latin American countries, where people celebrate the journey of Mary and Joseph as they search for a place to stay before the birth of Jesus. In its second year of celebrating Los Posadas at Samaritan House, staff, residents and volunteers came together to sing in anticipation of the coming of our Lord and Savior.

The procession made stops at the recreation room, clinic, cafeteria and finally the chapel, re-enacting the journey of Mary and Joseph and asking for shelter. Both English and Spanish versions of the hymn were sung, putting people of all backgrounds in the shoes of Mother Mary and Joseph. The Christmas story reflects so many of our neighbors experiencing homelessness this season. The chapel resembled the inn the Holy Family eventually was welcomed into.

“When we celebrated this last year, we connected the rich symbolism of Joseph and Mary seeking shelter, similar to the many families who have come to us. Many of them can empathize of how they must have felt and the realization that the Son of God was homeless before he came into this world,” said Josh Zielinski, associate director of Samaritan House family services. “It’s a great opportunity for us to keep Christ in Christmas.’

After the procession, everyone gathered back into the recreation room for tamales and piñata to enjoy. All the families felt true joy, knowing this holiday is much more about being grateful to be with one another and celebrating a journey that is similar to theirs.

The Las Pasadas celebration at Samaritan House is a testament to the Catholic Charities mission of serving as the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, and keeping what he would do in the forefront of our daily work. For too many this Christmas season, it is their first time away from their families and the unknown of what may be next on their journey is frightening. To know that Christ has too walked in their shoes, is as powerful of any.

The end of the Las Posadas song:

¡Dichosa la casa

que alberga este día

a la Virgen pura.

la hermosa María!

Blessed is the house

that shelters this day

the purest Virgin,

the beautiful Mary.

The end of the Las Posadas song:

¡Dichosa la casa

que alberga este día

a la Virgen pura.

la hermosa María!

Blessed is the house

that shelters this day

the purest Virgin,

the beautiful Mary.

Home for the holidays

December 19, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Moving into a new home can be an overwhelming experience, especially when you’re on a fixed income. For the residents of the St. Valentine supportive housing complex in Loveland, Colorado, those “little” things that add up were taken care of. Thanks to the tireless efforts of building coordinator Rob, all 54 units at St. Valentine’s received “starter kits” to help them get adjusted to their new living spaces. Parishioners at St. John the Evangelist in Loveland, and other individuals contributed thousands of dollars over the past few months to make sure every resident had all they needed to make their new house a home. Everything from kitchen to bath to bedding was included in these packages to make their transition as smooth as possible.

During the move-ins that started this month, residents have been lifted from many of the stresses of rising costs, with a warm place to call home this winter season. Paired with these “starter kits,” 80 individuals are that much closer to having all of their basics met. These tokens of kindness are what the Loveland community is all about.

On top of the $400 worth of items that were purchased for each unit, Rob also arranged for $50 Safeway gift card to be given out. These gift cards gave residents a chance to stock their pantries and fridges up for the first couple of weeks.

For the 80-plus individuals receiving income-based housing at St. Valentine’s, this is the start of a wonderful new chapter in their lives. A place to call home, and items that make it feel even homier. Thank you to the city of Loveland for welcoming this building into your community, and for welcoming some new neighbors with open arms. God bless.

25th Anniversary of Adopt-A-Family matches over 4000 individuals in Denver

December 11, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Over 4000 individuals will have gifts under their Christmas tree this year. The 25th anniversary of Adopt-A-Family was hugely successful, matching thousands of donors with families seeking assistance this holiday season. Thank you for your overwhelming generosity. The joy and relief you have provided these families is invaluable.

“It has become a tradition for us to get together as a friend group to find an organization to give to. We found this drive online and immediately knew these gifts were going to the right place and into the right communities. We were thrilled to get involved and will do it every year,” said Jason Schaffer.

Mother of two and Marisol Family participant Yesenia was getting off her 12-hour shift at Applebee’s when she picked up gifts for her family. With tears in her eyes and a tired smile, she shared her relief of not worrying about a joyful Christmas morning. For the past month, she’s picked up as many shifts as possible to make the basic ends meet. A Barbie doll for her daughter, new work shoes and a warm coat for her husband were on her list. They received so much more, thanks to the generosity of the Miller family in Wheat Ridge.

“I can’t wait for Christmas now.”

Growing up, Jana Lee and her aunt were actively involved in the Kinship ministry. She recalls receiving gifts from the Adopt-A-Family drive every Christmas. Years later, she is a college student in a human services program, striving to be a leader in the community. As a means of giving back, she went behind the scenes and volunteered to help with Adopt-A- Family.

“I wanted to find a way to give back.”

Pinar, a client at Marisol Health Denver, and her husband from Turkey are expecting a baby girl in the coming days. She received diapers, baby clothes and other necessities, as well as pampering gifts for Christmas this year to prepare for the greatest gift of all.

“We are so excited to have a new family member with us this Christmas.”

Lee and his grandson Beau have bonded over Adopt-A-Family, making it a tradition the whole family enjoys. They make a full day of shopping for families, with a lunch after to spend some extra time with one another.

The meaning behind Adopt-A-Family varies but the outcome remains was the same for all – to give and receive Christmas joy in a Christlike manner. We are so blessed by those in our community, ministries and other partners who 25 years of Adopt-A-Family, spreading the joy of the true meaning of Christmas. God Bless.

Eucharistic Revival alive in form of charity at Notre Dame school

December 1, 2023December 1, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Eighth graders at Notre Dame Catholic School stepped up big this holiday season by extending the warmth of Jesus Christ to neighbors experiencing homelessness. When the school’s coat drive began last month, theology teacher Laura Gillette encouraged the students to connect with the Eucharistic Revival, a movement in the Catholic Church that is restoring the understanding of the living presence in the Eucharist.

After some brainstorming, they decided to collect coats for the shelters at Catholic Charities in Denver, to help them prepare for the cold weather approaching.

“When we talked about doing this as a class, we thought that it would be a unique way to participate in the Revival and deepen our connection with one another, and with the Eucharist. To know that we carry Jesus with us is a powerful thing. We have been teaching them about the Eucharistic Revival all year, so to find ways to apply that, is exciting for us.”

Keeping this notion in mind, the students rallied around their families to join them. The response received was overwhelming. Families and parishioners at Notre Dame worked together to fill an entire classroom with coats, warm clothing items and even non-perishable food items to live out the true presence of faith.

Once all the coats had been collected, the students worked together to sort and organize them, making sure that each coat found its way to the Samaritan House warehouse. They wrote notes of encouragement, letting the recipients know they were prayed for.

The class spent part of their school day loading up the Catholic Charities truck with boxes and watched as their hard work moved directly on to Samaritan House, to help their brothers and sisters in Christ.

Mark Hahn, director of volunteer and community engagement spoke to the class before he drove to the shelter’s warehouse. “If you can imagine, we have 100 to 150 people coming into our warehouse daily asking for help. This donation drive you put together will help people who come to us with a pair of sandals, shorts and a T-shirt on. This is what it’s all about.”

St. John the Evangelist in Loveland rallies around Catholic Charities Housing

January 9, 2024November 22, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Loveland – the town, not the ski area – is known as the Sweetheart City with a long history of helping neighbors and welcoming strangers. The Catholic Church at the center of that tradition is St. John the Evangelist and parishioners there are turning the city’s reputation into reality for residents of Catholic Charities Housing’s newest affordable housing property.

St. Valentine’s Apartments will offer 48 one-bedroom and six two-bedroom units that could house up to 80 low-income tenants for a low monthly rent when it opens in end of this year. Each unit will come fully furnished, with access to site-wide internet services. Outside, tenants will have access to a large, landscaped courtyard with benches, tables and play equipment.

It is no secret that the housing market throughout Northern Colorado has skyrocketed, and housing costs have nearly doubled in Loveland over the past ten years. This jump in costs and interest rates has moved many longtime residents out of the region. With 30 affordable housing properties across Colorado, Catholic Charities Housing offers concrete solutions to the challenges of housing affordability and relies on partnerships to help residents create comfortable homes. With a firm understanding of the need for affordable housing in the community and a call to action after a Sunday Mass in May of this year, St. John the Evangelist in Loveland sprang into action to help.

For weeks, parishioners passed around a second offertory basket, collecting a $7,500 for the project. In addition to monetary donations, parish member Therese Hazzard volunteered her time to organize welcome packages for all the residents. These packages are no small feat, containing blankets, towels, housewares, gift cards and more, valued at around $500-600 each. To ensure everything was covered, Catholic Charities Housing ordered approximately $20,000 in Amazon items with the help of the parish donations to be delivered to Hazzard’s home so that residents have the essentials when they turn the key in their brand-new apartments when the building officially opens in late 2023.

“It’s heartwarming to see a community come together to support each other in such a meaningful way,” shared Justin Raddatz, Vice President of Development at Catholic Charities Housing. “As a parishioner of St. John the Evangelist, I am blown away by the generosity they have shown to keep our community housed. And to Therese Hazzard, we are humbled and blessed by your volunteer and monetary contributions.”

During speeches shared at the Grand Opening of Catholic Charities affordable housing property nearby, Immaculata Plaza II building in Greeley, affordable housing has been life changing.

Flora, a 72-year-old woman living in the brand-new building in Greeley said that, if not for the option for affordable housing in Northern Colorado, she would be living under a bridge. After her husband passed away, she was barely able to make ends meet for food. Now, she has a kitchen with brand new appliances, where she can walk to the store and make food for her neighbors.

The contributions of St. John the Evangelist in Loveland will directly help people like Flora in Loveland, to provide pots and pans for home-cooked meals, blankets for comfort and so much more. St. Valentine’s will serve as a protective space for dozens awaiting the day when they don’t have to worry about a place to call home.

You are never too young to give back

November 21, 2023 by Cat Kerr

Henry and William Gosbeth, two young brothers from Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic School, recently spent their evening volunteering at Cathedral Plaza Apartments, a Catholic Charities Housing complex in Denver. Despite the fact they are only three and five years old, they were eager to help and spent time after school helping to prepare and serve meals to residents. Their time spent with the residents from a different generation is a reminder that connection is all around us if you take the time to find it.

Their father, Dan Gosbeth, who is the resident service coordinator at Cathedral Plaza, believes it is best to teach children how to give back to the community from a young age.

“It is crucial to instill in our children the importance of giving back as soon as possible.”

The boys were excited to jump in, and even though the kitchen gloves they wore were a few sizes too large, they worked hard to bring the food to the dozens excitedly waiting for their meal.

The residents of Cathedral Plaza were delighted to watch the two boys set up and prepare the meal, with one resident even guiding them in placing dessert plates on a tray prior to serving. The resident commended the boys for their great effort, and they were thrilled to receive such positive feedback. Other residents in the community room watched with smiles on their faces, proud of the young boys’ efforts, and seeing young people jump in to assist them. This experience was a great lesson for the brothers, teaching them that helping others and instilling a sense of pride and accomplishment can happen at any age.

Volunteering at Catholic Charities is a fun way to get your family involved in the community! Whether you are interested in assisting with a craft, event or meal, connections are ready to be made. Reach out to Jennifer Cerf jcerf@ccdenver.org or visit ccdenver.org/volunteer to browse volunteer activities.

Is it the most wonderful time of the year?

November 21, 2023 by Cat Kerr

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” is the timeless Christmas song by Andy Williams. It creates a beautiful picture of the perfect holiday season, where everyone is caroling and roasting marshmallows, where hearts are glowing. Everyone is telling you to be of good cheer! Doesn’t that sound lovely? This is the lyrical version of a Hallmark Christmas movie, where many people would prefer to spend their holidays, because reality is not nearly as idyllic.

The reality of the holiday season is that this time of year may involve singing marshmallows, and glowing hearts, and it can also bring feelings of sadness, loneliness, and stress. I have encountered many people who feel they are doing something wrong if they don’t feel “happy” during the holiday season. It’s easy to feel like you’re a Grinch in Whoville when you can’t embrace the fantasy that we’re all supposed to be cheerful and jolly for weeks. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay not to buy into the myth. Let’s look at the reality of the holiday season.

Why might we feel tired, sad, lonely, and stressed? First, the days get shorter, and we have less daylight, which means we feel tired earlier in the evening. With the cold weather and darker evenings, people who may exercise by walking, running, or riding their bikes may be less inclined to do so, mainly if snow and ice exist. Holiday parties often mean over-indulging on alcohol and foods high in sugar and fat, meaning that our bodies are more inclined to feel worse the next day. Then we add in the emotional challenges of this time of year. The holiday season causes many of us to think about loved ones who have died, and this naturally brings a tinge of sadness to the events where those people are no longer present. If this is the first few seasons after a loved one has died, you may even feel that you can’t celebrate at all, and that’s not uncommon.

When it comes to stress there are many reasons to feel stressed during this time of year. There are tremendous financial pressures in our hyper-consumer-focused society. Children and teens often wish for expensive toys and electronics and parents want to provide for those wishes. Many people choose to spend what they don’t have to see the look of joy on their kids’ faces. And then we come to the parties. The outfits, food, gifts and all the aspects of hosting and attending parties can be both fun and exhausting. Let’s face it, family get-togethers may bring more drama than delight at times. With different political, religious, and social views, family celebrations can create tension as quickly as contentment.

So, what are we to do? First, let’s accept that the idea of this being the most beautiful time of year is a myth. Maybe you’ll have weeks of unending bliss, but rather than feel let down when that doesn’t happen, let’s instead embrace the idea that we can create some beautiful moments during this time of year. How can we do that?

Get quality sleep. If you’re tired and you can go to sleep earlier, then do so! Intentionally turn off screens 2 hours before going to sleep to help your brain transition to sleep.

Exercise, exercise, exercise! If you can’t exercise outdoors, do something indoors. There are many exercise videos or suggestions online for people of all ages and abilities. There are so many benefits of regular exercise, but the one to focus on here is dopamine, which helps improve our mood.

Recognize that you may be missing a loved one who has died. Feel sad, angry, or lonely and express those feelings: cry, talk to a friend or therapist, journal, or write a letter to the person you miss. Then, focus on the loved ones around you and feel the joy and love you have by being fully present with them.

Focus on connection rather than perfection. Take the time to intentionally connect with people you care about this season. This may mean simplifying the party or holiday dinner so you can spend time eating, playing games, or watching movies with your family and friends.

Give to others. It really is better to give than receive! Volunteer at a shelter or foodbank or your church (see Catholic Charities’ website for lots of volunteer opportunities; insert link here). Or bake cookies and share with your co-workers or neighbors. Make sock and hand warmer bundles for the homeless person you pass to work. Find ways to brighten someone else’s day. When we get outside of ourselves, our brain feels rewarded and we can alleviate our feelings of loneliness and isolation, even if for a short while.

Accept your family members for who they are and take responsibility for your part in the drama. You know that your uncle will be prone to make some political remark to stir the pot and that you can quickly come back with a witty retort and then everyone is thinking, “Oh boy, here we go again!” Make an intention to refrain from engaging certain people on certain topics if you know it’s not going to get anywhere and will only lead to tension and conflict. Change the subject, agree to disagree, or excuse yourself to get some fresh air if needed.

Finally, and most importantly, let’s focus on our beautiful Catholic tradition. The season of Advent begins on December 3rd and is the time we spend preparing for the birth of Jesus Christ, the Light of the World. If we are preparing our hearts, then our focus will be on prayer and asking how we can fully receive the gift of Jesus into our lives. We can still participate in the parties, marshmallows, and caroling, but we can also slow down and remember that Jesus truly is the Reason for the Season. Take time to reflect and decide how you want to spend this holiday season; how can you put Jesus at the center of all you do?

Dr. Michelle Connor Harris

Executive Director, St. Raphael Counseling